Boundary up!
I use this phrase a lot with my clients, using the word 鈥渂oundary鈥� as both a noun and a verb. There are times when we need to remind ourselves that a boundary needs to be in place before dealing with a situation or a person.
What is a boundary, really?
A boundary isn鈥檛 a moving line in the sand or a punishment. It鈥檚 a psychological barrier 鈥� a layer of imagined armor that shields the parts of you that are more sensitive to others鈥� words, emotions, or behavior. It helps you respond instead of react.
What is a boundary used for?
Anything you need. EMS providers use boundaries for:
- Shutting down unnecessary arguments
- Protecting quiet time during breaks
- Keeping family time off-limits from work calls
- Deflecting teasing or criticism that doesn鈥檛 serve a purpose
Think of it as deciding what gets in and what stays out 鈥� not just physically, but emotionally.
Do I need a boundary?
If you feel less stressed after saying any of the following, it鈥檚 a sign you need a boundary:
- It鈥檚 not my job to fix others
- It鈥檚 OK if others get angry
- It鈥檚 OK to say 鈥渘o鈥�
- I have a right to my own feelings
- It鈥檚 my job to take care of me
- Nobody needs to agree with me
If any of these feel like a relief, your armor might be overdue.
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How to build a boundary
Setting a boundary begins internally, with intention and visualization. Here are four steps to guide you in this process:
- Pause and breathe 鈥� wait for a calm moment. This can鈥檛 be done under duress.
- Visualize your wall 鈥� brick, glass, stone 鈥� whatever feels strong. Some walls may have holes (for trusted people).
- Picture the interaction 鈥攆eeling secure with the wall and the words or stress bouncing off.
- Repeat as needed 鈥� over time, it becomes automatic.
Can you adjust or drop a boundary?
Yes. You鈥檙e in charge. You may let some people through the wall. You may decide certain walls aren鈥檛 needed anymore. The goal isn鈥檛 to isolate 鈥� it鈥檚 to manage how much access people have to your energy and emotions.
Why boundaries matter in EMS
A career in EMS exposes you to human crisis, confrontation and emotional overload 鈥� often in a single shift. Boundaries aren鈥檛 about avoidance. They鈥檙e about showing up clear-headed and emotionally intact. They help you leave work at work, stay connected at home and avoid emotional shutdown over time.
Training tip
Use the phrase 鈥淏oundary up鈥� as often as you put on your seatbelt. It鈥檚 a reminder to protect yourself 鈥� not just physically, but mentally. Boundaries won鈥檛 fix every problem, but they will keep you from absorbing things that aren鈥檛 yours to carry.
